I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
