In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
