well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
