hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
A+ Viking dick
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
