i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
