I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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