Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
