I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
