Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
