Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
