I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Houston, we have a blender
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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