Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
