your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
