yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
