grandma shit on top of the toilet
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
as a side note pls kill me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
