I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
