There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Houston, we have a squirter
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
