I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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