you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
