Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
