I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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