im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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