I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
