as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Vodka?
Forever.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize