the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
