oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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