Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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