Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
