good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
