Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize