then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
