I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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