He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
