I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
