covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize