I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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