put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
