Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
