Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
