She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
