she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
