I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
