Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize