Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
