i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
