I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
