i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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