Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Farmville is her only friend.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
