All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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