My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
