Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
