where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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