She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
