dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
