I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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