the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
