I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize