this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
