FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
