Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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