That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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